We live in a modern society where women are equals in both the workplace and the relationship. Women are more independent than ever and have obtained more and more leadership positions in the corporate world. But many argue that, because of this, chivalry has died. The first date is always awkward—you eat and talk and it’s perfectly
wonderful. And then the check comes…and you basically stare at each other trying to figure out your next move. Whitney Cummings, a Comedy Central comedian jokes that she does the awkward purse dig: she dips her hand into her purse, “searching” intently for her wallet until her date puts his card on the tray. It’s a move women admittedly use but it doesn’t negate that awkward moment! So I have written a list of factors to determine who should pay!
- Factor 1: Is this the first date? If the answer is “yes,” I am going to get old school on you. A gentleman never asks a woman on a date then expects her to pay for her meal. For the most part, if she offers to pay for her own meal, she is testing you. And if you accept her money, you’ve failed the test!
- Factor 2: Is there a huge gap in incomes? If you are the CEO of Google and she is a bartender, you should pay. Yes, I understand it is nice to have a woman offer at least once and not be expected to dish out your hard-earned cash every time. But, because you are obviously in a better financial position than she is, you should not expect her to pay for that $1,000 tab at your favorite seven-star restaurant.
- Factor 3: How long have you been dating? If the two of you are on relatively similar financial tiers, I would say it is ok for the two of you to take turns paying after about four months. This is about the time you know the relationship is getting serious and the comfort level is established. If he pays for dinner, you should pay for the bar tab. If you are an independent woman and are offended by my suggestion, let me put it in perspective: there is not just a price to pay for independence. The way I look at it, the one who pays has the say. So if you equally share the financial responsibility, this is a partnership. If one person pays all the time, that person decided when and where the dates are.